Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I came home during lunch and started sweep the floor and I told Carlos that I needed to share something with him. He growled at me from the bathroom....and then I refused to tell him for about 10 minutes. I finally told him that I didn't think that he appreciated how clean I keep our house. From there we talked about 10 more minutes and we finally figured it out: I show him love be keeping the house clean - but he just wants me to spend time with him. His love language is time spent....and mine is acts of service....so I told him if he cleaned the house he would be showing me love and then I would have time to spend with him and it would be showing him love. Sounds PERFECT, huh? Plus I don't have to clean the house. Hehe! Let's see if this works.
We figured it out....
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i just did all the dishes, put up the air mattress and cleared off the table ;) whats up NOW.. lol
i think its a difficult issue... i don't think me and amanda get upset about much, but if we do... its her getting upset about me not doing my part around the house. But its also because her mother is a cleaning nazi, which got handed down to her. So our different levels and expectations of clean were different. I've really tried to help her over the past few months, and it makes sense, and i think it should be as balanced as you can make it. And if all else fails.. make list of the things that need done and divide it! :)
LOL So its worked so far....carlos cleans and I hang out (with him)...lol! James - i loved your word "balanced". It totally sums up our new life - he cleans - I chill. Doesn't that sound balanced???? LOL!!
you can't just swap! unless you are teaching him a lesson, which is funny...
naw naw... it worked... i want her to chill with me and she always cleaning and junk.
so now i made dinner, cleaned up and she pays attention to me when i say,"hey val, check this out!!!"
lol
the language of love!!!
love the lord god with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself...
I so get this! we have the same difference (brad and i) only switched. Brad is always doing things for me and I am like will you just sit down or look at me while I tell you this extremely long story about my day. He gets hurt when i don't noticed the car is clean or that I have a new hard drive on my PC and I could care- less. On the other hand it peeves me he doesn't listen to me and remember things I tell and show him - like i ma not important enough to listen to. hmmm
yep - acts of service vs time/attenion.
So then we try to meet each others needs. which means I cook really aweful food tryign to make him dinner adn he falls asleep trying to listen to me. got the balance thing down! LOL